New Call, Who ‘Dis?

I officially started my new call as the head pastor on July 1st, 2022. I am all official now, reverend and everything. It has been a really long road for me to get to where I am and I am so thankful to be here. Overall, the people have been extremely welcoming; excited, even, to have someone say “yes” to them. This church has had a long road over the last ten years and now feels like there is some glimmer of hope because I said yes. 

After six months on the job I’ve had some strange encounters. Here are a few:

Golden Envelopes

Every community has something they hold on to and have no idea why they hold on to it so hard. Sometimes that thing is offering envelopes. Every year at this church, they feel the need to order hundreds of envelopes for offering and every year they have hundreds left over. Not only do they have offering envelopes, they have deacon offering envelopes, Christmas joy offering envelopes, great hour of sharing envelopes, and more. 

At this point we have so many unused envelopes that the paper is wearing thin and they are starting to fall apart. For some reason that I haven’t figured out, there is a need to have as many envelopes in the pews as possible. At one point, my Office Administrator took all the random items in the pews and threw them all out. Two Sundays later… a miracle happened… the envelopes were back! And they had multiplied! We have no idea where they came from or who put them back.

The amazing counters are equally obsessed with envelopes. If an offering arrives at church via the mail, they take the money or check out of the envelope it came in, document it, and then put the money in a completely different envelope to then be opened by our bookkeeper. When I asked why this was the system, they said it was because “that is how we’ve always done it.” I asked if there could be another way, but they refused.

"Could there be another way? Yes, yes there is. But is now the time to change it? No… I haven't built up enough trust, yet." ~ Cassie Carroll Click To Tweet

Could there be another way? Yes, yes there is. But is now the time to change it? No. It might seem strange not to just streamline the system and make things easier and just get rid of all the envelopes, but it’s not the right time. I’ve only been here six months. I haven’t built up enough trust, yet, for them to believe me when I say there is another way. 

These envelopes represent more than just pieces of paper that hold other pieces of paper. They represent my ability to listen, honor, and respect the history and story of this church. Waiting in this case is key.

Collar Me This

My first Sunday on the job I wore my clerical collar. Not because I have always wanted to be a pastor with a collar, but because it was my first day and it felt special. Little did I know I would become an every Sunday collared pastor. 

This first Sunday, everyone was abuzz with excitement since I was finally there. So much joy. This church had been in the search process for over three years and was very ready to have someone put down roots to guide them into the next chapter. Similarly, this job was a long time coming for me and I could not be more excited to finally start in the call that I knew I was destined to hold.

At the end of the service I stood in the doorway greeting people and smiling. An older man, probably in his 80’s, looked at me and said, “Not too bad for a lady!” and walked away. I had no time to react as the line for greeting was pushing people out the door to get to the coffee and cookies. 

I finally made it to the Fellowship Hall where the coffee and cookies were, and a very tall man approached me. He said, without introducing himself, in a very deep voice, “Well, I don’t know about you and I don’t know about that choker collar around your neck.” 

I replied, “ Well, you have time to get to know me. As far as my clerical collar, it was created back in the 1700’s by a presbyterian pastor to help symbolize the importance of the work the pastor has as a leader in their community.” 

He responded, “Good thing you had that in your back pocket.” 

From that moment, I knew that wearing this collar was not just a way to remind me about the vows I took at my ordination, but also as a reminder to the congregation. A reminder that even though I look like their granddaughter, I am still the pastor. 

"From that moment, I knew that wearing this collar was not just a way to remind me about the vows I took at my ordination, but also a reminder to the congregation… that even though I look like their granddaughter, I am still the pastor." ~… Click To Tweet

As a woman in ministry, there has always been push back on if I “should” have the authority to be in leadership. I’m not going to go into all the details of theological reasons why women can and SHOULD be in ministry, but I will say this: I have been hurt by well intentioned men and women multiple times throughout my life because they disagreed with the calling I know God has placed on me. 

I knew taking this job would be very new for a lot of people in this congregation. This encounter is just one of many where I have had to hold my ground and protect my calling. Whether it is ignoring inappropriate comments about how I dress, being called a “Lady Pastor” by a 94 year old man, or having an elderly woman tell me, “You are never going to be qualified for this job and that is just facts!” I will always have to prove myself a bit more to the older congregants than my male colleges. 

I really didn’t think I would be an every Sunday collar wearing pastor, but after that first day, I quickly realized that I needed to become one.

Time Is On My Side

The main thing that I have always known, but has been really making its point over the last six months, is that there is time. Trust from the congregation will come with time. People will learn my heart for this new church family in time. The issues surrounding this congregation do not need to be changed right away. There is time. 

If I don’t take advantage of time, then I will not see the full picture of this place and I will not be honoring the people who have been at this church for so long. I need to take time to listen to the people that have been keeping this place running. I must take time to hear the stories of why things are they way are before I jump into fix-it mode. Trying to push forward without taking time will end in hurt feelings, missed opportunities, and exhaustion. 

"I must take time to hear the stories of why things are the way they are before I jump into fix-it mode. Trying to push forward without taking time will end in hurt feelings, missed opportunities, and exhaustion." ~ Cassie Carroll Click To Tweet

Burnout will come if time is not taken seriously. I won’t be able to give to this congregation what they need to be able to do this work of transition and change well. The last thing I want to do is overstretch myself that I can’t do this work. 

The Psalms consistently remind us to slow down, listen, and wait in all times. Psalm 27 encourages us to find strength and courage as we wait for God. Psalm 40 reminds us that we are called to wait patiently for the Lord and God will hear our cry. Psalm 46 reminds us to be still and know. This is just to name a few. 

I choose to wait. I choose to go slow. I choose to take advantage of time. I trust that, as I do, the Holy Spirit will guide, inspire, and encourage me and this congregation. I trust that in time this new call will become a beautiful partnership where God’s love will be known inside and outside the walls of this church family.